This was the post that started all of this blog nonsense. This list was carefully placed at the top of my online dating profile. This post I wrote while downing a few glasses of wine and fuming over the annoyances I had been experiencing. If you’re reading this blog, you likely have already read this, but please feel free to at least comment below on your thoughts!
Back by popular demand… I have decided to put back my list of things that annoy me about men on online dating websites. I am speaking for myself, however I am sure there are many other girls out there gritting their teeth because of the same infractions being thrust upon them. Let the fun begin… and hopefully, if anything this will help YOU find someone, even if that someone isn’t me.
A girl’s profile is not to be confused with the iTunes terms of agreement. READ IT. READ ALL OF IT. Even if it is ten pages long like mine, because guess what? You can actually learn something about your compatibility through the length of her profile and your willingness to actually read through it. So many men will message me and ask me questions that I have more than covered in my profile. Which right away tells me that you didn’t take the time to read my profile, therefore I likely will not message you back.
PUT SOME THOUGHT INTO YOUR PROFILE! When I see a profile that has one picture and nothing filled out I immediately assume one of two things: 1) You are quite the boring person eh? 2) You’re a serial killer and the less you have on your profile, the less likely someone will find me locked up in your basement. This is online dating, your profile takes the place of the sloppy conversation you have when you meet someone in real life at a bar. At the end of the night, if the cute girl you met enjoyed the conversation, then you get a phone number that isn’t fake.
WHEN YOU MESSAGE A GIRL… give her TIME to respond. I actually got in quite the heated debate with a gentleman who messaged me, and SEVEN minutes later messaged me and said “Oh okay fine… I guess you’re not interested then.” Seven minutes is hardly enough time for me to read your message, visit your profile and read through it, and then come up with a thoughtful message to send back. Especially with me, because as you can clearly tell, I am a thorough person and I like to type… a LOT. Don’t just assume that because a girl viewed your profile and you didn’t receive a message moments later, that she isn’t interested. Maybe she’s busy, maybe something happened, or of course maybe she really isn’t planning on messaging you. I don’t have time to message back every person that messages me and explain why I didn’t want to get to know them. If you get a message back, GREAT, but if you don’t…just assume that means she isn’t interested.
Alright time to talk about pictures… deep down we all have our ‘type’, I know I am not everyone’s type, and not everyone is my type. I do judge you by your pictures and if I can tell immediately that you are not my type, then thank goodness you had photos that saved you the trouble of buying me dinner only to be told I don’t ‘feel a connection’. (Personally though, if I don’t feel a connection, I would buy my own dinner.) In addition to just being true to yourself in your photos, and having photos that are a good representation of who you are, don’t let your photos mislead to who you aren’t. I appreciate a six pack and that magical v-thing on a guy just as much as the next girl, but if every photo is of you naked in a mirror covering up your winkie, i’m going to assume that you’re only interested in one thing, and that’s not what i’m here for. Put some clothes on boys 🙂
Just because we have a lot of shared interests doesn’t mean we have a connection. I am not a big sports person, but some of the best men I have dated are, and it’s that clash that really brings light to the relationship. Who knew there were so many men that loved musical theatre and disney movies? Well I can tell you that OkCupid is FULL of them. It would be nice to date someone who isn’t necessarily exactly like me. Opposites attract right?
Lastly here are a few quick tips to finish this off:
– Perhaps try not to curse in your first message? I can have the mouth of a sailor but I hate the idea of having someone ask “How did you guys meet?” and I chuckle and reminisce and say “He messaged me and said ‘I bet you have a sweet ass.’ and I was like ‘He’s the one!'”
– Really any sexual nature in any messages is a swift kick to the curb. If I want to read a trashy romance novel I will go buy one, I am on here to find someone to share my life with, not read up about your fantasies.
– Don’t lie. I’m not afraid to go and meet people from here and I have many times. And it is amazing how many people lie about things that come out on the first date. Be honest and don’t waste my time. If you lie this early, there most certainly will not be a second date.
– I have cats. If you hate cats, go ahead and move on to the next profile.
I think that covers it for the most part. To be honest, I could go on for hours about everything that has ever annoyed me on here. I just wish that someone would take the time to try and impress me, show me you’re not like the hundred other six packs out there. Moral of the story… READ, WRITE, and be YOURSELF.
If I haven’t completely scared you off…well I look forward to hearing from you! 🙂