Online dating can be really intimidating when you first approach it. I remember when I first started doing it…it wasn’t as accepted. And when you tell someone you are using an online dating website, they might immediately become concerned for your safety in using this method. YES! There are a lot of psychos in the world, there are fake profiles, there are people out there pretending to be someone else… so I have devised a method for feeling confident and comfortable before meeting someone on the internet. I have met many people through online dating websites, and I have always gone through these steps before making the decision to go on the date… The internet is a scary place my friends… what I tell you… It may SHOCK you! 😉
This is the first step. If I decide that I am interested in someone I will try to find out how ‘real’ they are before giving them too many details, and before ever meeting them in person. Most online dating websites have you create a username for your profile. The username might give you a look into who this person really is and help you find out more about them. For example… pretend the username is alw1285 … chances are ALW are the persons initials, and 1285 could be a birthday or a graduation year… these are great clues! Now that I have made my assumptions based on the username, I move forward. In this day and age we have usernames and passwords for so many things, people often use the same username over and over again. So I take the username and I plug it into different places. Instagram is my favorite. Almost every single time if I take someone’s online dating username and plug it in to Instagram, I will find their profile. Now you may think that your Instagram is blocked unless you are a follower, but it typically will tell me your name still. So if alw1285 has an instagram account that says his name is Austin Wright, now I have something to plug into Facebook. Facebook is a lot more secure than we give them credit for, so I may or may not find out anything. However I have a name, so now I can examine the numbers. 1285 … born in December 1985? Born January 2nd 1985? Any of those are possible. You can plug these into any public record system and find out which one is right. You might be wondering WHY do I go to the trouble? Because I am confirming that this person actually is a real person that exists, and I am not being tricked by some psycho old man that wants to rape me and lock me in his basement.
Same game. Eventually after messaging on the site with this guy, eventually you will get a phone number. Nine times out of ten, if you’re a girl you will likely get the phone number before EVER having to give him YOUR phone number. Here is where FACEBOOK finally might come through for you. Most people turn off the ability to search by name only, however plug the phone number into the search bar, and voila you have found your future husband’s Facebook profile. You can also try to plug the phone number into other websites like Spokeo and get more info, but the Facebook test 9/10 works. And most other websites charge… If you have failed on the first two steps we have some more solutions to look into…
FaceTime or Pics…
I have had a few times when my other methods have failed, but I have really enjoyed talking to the guy. So I want to meet him, but I still feel uneasy and want to make sure he is who he says he is. Almost every phone or computer has the ability to either video chat or take and send pictures. I will ask the guy to normally text me a picture of him with the date and my name on his hand. That way I at least know that I am not being tricked and he is who he says he is. One time I had a guy who was just as apprehensive, so we ended up doing FaceTime for our first date, and it was actually a lot of fun. When we did go on our first real date, it was much more relaxed and enjoyable for both of us.
The internet doesn’t have to be so scary. You might think I am crazy for going through so much to find out if a person is who they say they are, but unfortunately I feel it is extremely necessary. I watch the news, and I don’t want to ever be on the news, so I would rather take an extra couple of minutes and make sure that I know who it is I am going to go out with.
Also… when you do finally decide to meet this person… ALWAYS meet in a public setting where there are plenty of people. ALWAYS drive separately… ALWAYS make sure to give a friend or family member any detailed information about the person you are meeting, and where/when you are meeting. Meeting someone online is not very different from going on a date with a guy that you met at a bar one night, but I think it is always a good idea to be extra careful no matter what the circumstances are. BE SAFE AND HAVE FUN! And DON’T be afraid to go out and meet these people! I have gone on so many first dates in my time with online dating and although I haven’t met any true matches, I have had so much fun doing this. It is truly a great experience. You don’t have to be as detailed as I am in background checks, but be safe… but HAVE FUN!
I hope this helped some of you that may be a little shy about actually meeting people! Go do it! Have fun! Comment below and tell me about it! Thanks for reading and HAPPY SOUL SEARCHING! xoxo