Sometimes people think that they need to spruce up their online dating profile in order to convey the kind of person that they THINK people will want to date. That is why I have tried so hard in my online dating profile to be as true to myself as possible. If you say you like something, you better like it! If you say you do something, you better do it! If you say you look like something, you better look like it! By putting false information in your online dating profile, you are officially LYING to every single potential spouse that comes your way. You might think these are white lies, and once they meet the REAL YOU they will forgive you and fall in love with you anyway! NOPE! Maybe some girls will be more forgiving than others, but at least in my case, I don’t appreciate it. I have mentioned before in my post about Online Dating & Appearances that lying about who you are shows me you are not confident in yourself, and CONFIDENCE IS KEY!
“I go to the gym at least five days a week…”
You might think that i’m being superficial by saying that finding out you DON’T go to the gym five days a week makes you look bad. But if you TELL ME that you do, and I find out you DON’T, then YES that is BAD! It is BAD because MAYBE it isn’t your BODY I was attracted to from your GYM statement, it was that we have something in COMMON! So when you tell me that the closest you get to the gym is the burger place next door, then that will make me HEAVILY reconsider going out with you again. SHARED INTERESTS… Some women enjoy a man that shares their interests, so if they decided to go out with you because you guys have SHARED INTERESTS and then she finds out you actually don’t have those INTERESTS then that dating opportunity just EXPIRED.
“I am very energetic and outgoing!”
YAY! Marry me!!!!! I have a very high energy level and I like to be goofy and have fun. I have dated the quiet, more reserved types before and I just can’t take it. Opposites attract, but when you have high energy levels and you’re with someone who is very calm, it can be like being a drunk person trying to make your sober friend have fun. So when I see a guy label himself as energetic, outgoing, fun, etc. I normally jump on those opportunities.
I met a guy once through a dating website who described himself as the most fun, crazy and outgoing person ever. We arranged for our first date to spend the day together and be spontaneous. I was extremely excited to go on this date. That morning we declared that we would meet at IKEA. I LOVE IKEA. Even though it is a furniture store, it can be an extremely fun place! We met at the door…at first he seemed a little shy and quiet…but I hoped that was just nerves and maybe if I pushed him enough he would come out of it. An hour later I realized that Mr. Reserved was here to stay… and here I am seeing how many meatballs I can fit in my mouth…
I revisit my earlier statement… BE HONEST ABOUT WHO YOU ARE! IT WILL SHOW! I spent over 10 hours with this guy, and by the end I knew that he wasn’t the outgoing person he said he was. Or maybe he was outgoing… just not in the way I hoped he would be. Either way, I was disappointed, and I did not go out with him again.
“Picture from 5 years ago when I went to the gym frequently…”
In this day and age it seems like almost everyone has a camera. So no longer can the excuse ‘this was one of the only pictures I had’ be acceptable. It is not hard to extend your arm, tilt your head, smile, and click the camera button on your phone. Believe me… teenagers everywhere have mastered the craft… I am sure a 20-something man with a smartphone can figure it out.
I met a guy a a year ago who had plenty of pictures on his profile, including one of his perfectly chiseled six pack. I normally won’t bother with guys that post topless photos, but at the time we connected a lot and I was wiling to overlook it. Here we go again… I DON’T CARE IF YOU HAVE A SIX PACK — WHAT I CARE ABOUT IS HONESTY. I would have gone on a date with this guy regardless of that picture… it was that picture that ALMOST caused him to NOT get a date. What made this situation even worse, was during our conversations he mentioned his perfect body casually… when I met him and the only six pack I could see was the six pack of beer strapped to his belly…well it bothered me. I just immediately thought, “wow…how unconfident must you be in your current self, that you felt you had to hide behind your old self?”
It does sound superficial. But the reason my examples are about superficial things, is because it is the superficial things that so many guys lie about online. You can’t hide behind your username forever, and eventually if you really like a girl you are going to meet her. And when you do meet her, there is no room for pretending anymore, and you’re just going to end up disappointing her if you gave her misconceptions on who you really are. Be true to yourself! I hope that all of you find someone who will want to meet you in person. SAVE YOURSELF THE ANXIETY about not being who she imagines, by BEING TRUE ABOUT WHO YOU ARE. If you give an honest representation about yourself on your dating profile, I guarantee that if a girl goes one one date with you, you are MUCH MORE LIKELY to get a second date.
Thank you so much for reading! I am preparing another PICTURE infused post in the near future! Keep an eye out for it you definitely do not want to miss it! Please follow me on twitter at twitter.com/how2cupid for more updates and tips. Please leave a comment below and tell me about a time when someone was not honest about who they were. MEN! Leave me comments too! As I have said before, this blog is from a woman’s perspective, but I know that it goes both ways. I would love to hear your stories. Thank you and happy soul searching!!! xoxo 🙂