Inner Monologue & What a Girl REALLY THINKS!

In 2000, Mel Gibson starred in a movie called ‘What Women Want’. In this movie, he was able to read the minds of women. Wouldn’t that be nice for EVERYONE if that was actually possible? I can’t grant a man the ability to look into my mind, but sometimes I wish they would. Now I know most of you will say ‘WHY NOT JUST TELL HIM WHAT YOU’RE THINKING?’…after reading through my inner monologues, I think you will understand WHY I can’t just tell him that. I can come across as a very up front and honest person, which I am, but even I have my limits.

This post is based on a combination of my thoughts during certain of dates that I have had. It is not based on one date, but a sum of all dates, and the thoughts that go through my mind at different parts. Some of these thoughts are for good dates, and some are for bad. Unfortunately I believe that for every nine bad dates you go on, you will go on one good date. So my thoughts are geared more towards the bad dates…

You see him waving at you out front of the restaurant…

“Hmm he is a lot shorter than I thought…”
“Could I walk away and act like i’m not me?”
“No! Go and have dinner with him! Maybe he will be taller when you get closer to him.”
“Holy shit…is that him? Wow OMG…should’ve wore the shorter dress…damn. Is there a chapel nearby?”

First introduction in front of the restaurant…

“Wow he talks fast…”
“Wow he hardly said a word…”
“He definitely didn’t get any taller…”
“I wish you would just come back to my place…who needs food..?”
“Who shakes hands on the first date? Now I won’t get a chance to see what he smells like…”
“Please stop hugging me and trying to rub your junk on me…let me get a few drinks first…”
“He had a few bats in the cave…”
“Did his mom dress him for this?”
“Has he heard of an iron?”
“Why are his pants so tight? Did he accidentally borrow his younger brothers?”
“At least he tucked his shirt in…”
“I wondered why none of his pictures showed his teeth…now I know…”
“Okay…you can do this! Go and have dinner, and just order alcohol…”

At the table…

“Why didn’t he pick a booth? I hate sitting at tables…”
“What what what… WHY is he ordering for me?”
“Short or tall? PLEASE waitress I like my beer, like I like my men… TALL.”
“Hmm what should I order? Since I don’t foresee a second date I am going to enjoy a double bacon cheeseburger because I don’t care what I look like while eating this…”
“I can’t order a salad…even though I want one…because contrary to popular belief a salad is NOT a safe choice to order on a date. Lettuce can be very un-sexy.”
“PASTA! I will go with the pasta! That will pair nicely with wine…let me hurry through this beer and get a wine list!”
“I wish he would’ve ordered alcohol for himself, would’ve loosened him up a bit…”
“At least sitting down I can’t see how tall he is…”
“Would my family like him?”

While Eating…

“Why yes I would love another glass of wine! Bring me the damn bottle.”
“Hmm I should really pay for my alcohol…although if he would’ve been less annoying I wouldn’t have felt the need to drink so much…”
“I wish that being tipsy would make him more interesting and attractive…”
“I can’t believe he ordered food with MAYO in it…I HATE MAYO…”
“Great there’s mayo on his lips…gross…”
“Could you close your mouth while you chew?”
“Bro it’s not a race…CHEW…but do it with your mouth shut.”
“Where’s my wine?”
“I wonder if it’s early enough I could squeeze in another date tonight…”
“I really hope he doesn’t try to kiss me…”
“Okay…start dropping friend words…”
“Did he honestly just ask me how I think the date is going?? I don’t want to have to tell him in person that it sucked…give me a chance to hide behind my phone and send you a text later…”
“Well I will ask the waitress for two checks, that should give him enough of a hint that he won’t try to kiss me…”

Walking out to your cars…

“Oh goodness I shouldn’t have drank so much…”
“Who am I kidding, that was my only method of survival…”
“Please don’t kiss me, please don’t kiss me…”
“Why is he just standing there fumbling with his keys?”
“Okay…I will get in MY car and shut the door…”
“Oh no oh no… here it goes he’s going to try…”
“Hug it out and pull away fast…”
“Ewwwww he kissed my cheek!”
“Could be worse…could have been your lips…just remember to wash the mayonnaise residue off your face when you get home…”
“YAY he is walking to his car and I am SAFE! Time to go home and tell the cats!”

Later at home…

“Will he text me? I hope so!”
“Please don’t text me…please tell me you got the hint…”
“Oh crap he texted me…’Wish I could’ve kissed you'”
“Uhhh…should I just never respond?”
“NO! That is rude! Respond and tell him that you didn’t feel a connection and move on!”
“Maybe throw in a few compliments about him to soften the blow…”
“Maybe I need a glass of wine before I do this..”
“WTF he just sent me a picture of his penis??? WHY do men think that I want to see that??”
“I might need two glasses of wine..”
“I will feed the cats, pick a movie on Netflix, and then I will message him back…”
“Oh yes…thank you for letting me know that you are thinking of me, because I was beginning to wonder what the symbolism for sending a picture of your man parts is?”
“Okay here it goes…’I had a great time tonight, but I honestly did not feel a connection. Thank you for dinner, and good luck in your search.'”
“Ten bucks says he asks WHY..”
“There it is…’WHY'”
“Why do I even bother?”

I know that some people might think that I am extremely picky, and very superficial. Maybe I am? I don’t know. However, would I necessarily write a guy off because of one of the listed infractions? NO. But if you did a lot of the things that I have listed, then we aren’t a match. I would never ask a guy to change who he is, and I have received a lot of feedback from guys who think that is what I am trying to do with this blog. BE YOURSELF. I am only pointing out things that don’t change your personality and who you are. I bring up height a lot, because I think height is the number one thing that men lie about on online dating sites. I’m not saying you aren’t datable because you’re not TALL, i’m saying I don’t want to date someone who felt they needed to lie about their height.

I hope maybe you are able to learn something from getting a look into my mind and some common thoughts that go through my head on first dates with online men. As I previously mentioned, this isn’t based on one bad date, it is based on a cumulation of ALL dates (good/bad). Have you ever found yourself thinking some of the same things? Tell me about them! What are some experiences you have had? I love to hear the stories and feedback.

ALSO!!!! I am really curious on any requests for future posts. A lot of my posts are based on things that have been requested by the readers. You can comment below with a request, or you can e-mail me @ with your request. I can’t cover every topic requested, but I certainly will try!

Thank you for reading & happy soul searching! xoxo


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