Being Alive

When you have been single for an extended period of time you start to get used to it. You begin to accept your solo life and start to become selfish. Not a BAD version of selfish. When you have been on your own for so long, you start to think in terms of you, and don’t have to consider anyone else. Eventually, for most people, you will find someone that will want to be in your world, and you’ll want them to be in there too. This is when things can get a little weird…but a good weird! 🙂

One of my favorite musicals is called ‘Company’. And in Company, Robert, a mid-thirties bachelor, realizes that although he thought being alone was grand, he didn’t want that anymore. He performed a song called ‘Being Alive’. This song was the breaking point for this character, when he finally accepted that being alone and free could not possibly hold a candle to being with someone. If you have never watched Neil Patrick Harris belt out this song before, you can find it here on YouTube: Being Alive. I highly recommend it.

The song points out a lot of things that as a single person, you don’t have to deal with, but when you let someone in, you do. I know I preach a lot about how great single life is, but there comes a time when that journey needs to go in a different path…the path out of single-hood and into a relationship with another person.

It is an exciting moment when you meet someone and you think that they could be that person. Even if you don’t know them very well, or for very long, you start imagining what it would be like with this person. What it would be like to have someone who cares about you in that way. Instead of coming home to tell your cats about your day, there is this person who may not always care to hear about it, but they are still there to listen. To have that comfort that even in dark times…whether it be a death, injury, illness, or a bad day….that at least there is someone out there that cares about you in that way that no one else does.

No longer do you have to sit at the single’s table at events…no longer do you find yourself clinging to a baseball bat when you hear something strange outside at night…no longer do you have to answer that dreaded question on whether or not you’re dating anybody… The world completely changes, and in so many good ways.

THE WORST however…is when you meet someone and you start getting hopeful that they are the person that will finally turn everything around…and then they’re gone in the blink of an eye. You’re left shaken, because you started to strip down and become vulnerable to this person and then they wounded you…You find yourself trying to quickly bandage up the cuts…but only time can heal things like this…

It’s funny…no matter how long or short the time spent with someone is…it still hurts if they leave. It still makes you scared to put yourself out there again. Disappointment can be more painful and debilitating than having your heart broken. To get your hopes up and be so high and happy, and to have it torn away in an instant… it really hurts.

Hope is a powerful thing. You might not always know why something didn’t happen the way you thought it would, sometimes we don’t get answers. However, we all have been disappointed before, and we all have been able to build ourselves back up before the next blow. One of these times…you won’t have to rebuild….because one of these times….they won’t disappoint you.

I am a self-proclaimed serial dater, but I still have a heart and feelings too. Anytime I go on a new date with a new guy (remember I had over 30 of them this past summer…) I run the risk of being disappointed, being hurt, and being left. It never stops me though…because every time that something didn’t work out the way that I wanted it to, I would go back and listen to my favorite song, ‘Being Alive’. Because this song reminds me why it is worth all the pain in the end, it reminds me why I keep getting up to bat.

Don’t let the fear of failure and disappointment stop you from finding this person…I can promise you I won’t let it stop me.

Thanks for reading & Happy Soul Searching.
xoxo

 

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